Support Group Charter

This is a sample charter for a support group for partners of survivors of sexual abuse. Feel free to use it, and give us comments and suggestions for way to improve it!

Group Purpose
The purpose of this group is to provide support for partners of those who have been sexually abused as children. Members will listen to and share experiences without judging, evaluating, or solving problems for others, knowing they can express themselves around people who are in similar circumstances.

The group also serves to develop skills to help members and their relationships. This includes skills such as communication, anger management, providing safety in the relationship, self expression, problem solving, and acceptance of self and partner.

Members will also learn about abuse and its effects, such as promiscuity, lying, addictions, intimacy issues, trust issues, and general relationship problems that stem from sexual abuse.

Group Structure

The group size should be a maximum of 12, with regular meetings every two weeks. If the group goes over 12, consider splitting it into two smaller groups.

Each quarter, a member volunteers to be the Meeting Leader for that quarter. The Meeting Leader is responsible for leading the meetings, keeping the discussion on track and within the group's guidelines.

Each quarter, a member volunteers to be the Coordinator for that quarter. The Coordinator is responsible for the meeting space and for evaluating new membership requests according the group's rules, expectations and purpose.

Workshops are held two to four times a year to work on skills-development and for increasing the members' knowledge about sexual abuse and its effects. Specialists will be brought in from outside the group to lead these workshops. To support the workshop process, a member volunteers to be the Workshop Leader. This person is responsible for working with the group to determine the workshop subject, arranging the workshop, finding a specialist to conduct it, and collecting money from the group to pay any fees incurred by the workshop.

The meetings will be held in a consistent place that provides private, quiet, and adequate space. Preferably it is free to the group but if the location comes at a cost, then the group members will discuss and agree on an approach for funding it.

The regular meeting time will be of convenience to and agreed upon by the members. It should be consistent so that people can schedule it in advance with a good degree of certainty. Changing the meeting time to work around holidays is up to the group.

The group may elect to provide child-care, refreshments and any other such services they feel would be beneficial to the group's operation.

The group will maintain a private membership directory, for use only by the group members. The directory will include names, email addresses and phone numbers so that members can contact each other when needed.

The group will establish a relationship with a local, licensed counselor who can be called on to help with group dynamics, questions, processes, and related issues. Prior to bringing in the counselor for assistance, the group will come to an agreement to do so, and on how to handle any fees incurred.

Membership Rules and Expectations

Members must be in a partner-relationship with someone who was sexually abused as a child or an adult.

Prior to joining the group they will contact the Coordinator to receive the group's charter (this document) and a brief New Member Survey to provide the group with some personal background information.

The Coordinator will present each new member's application to the group. The group may decide to accept or refuse any prospective member by a 2/3 vote. The Coordinator will then communicate back to the prospective member with the group's decision.

Listening with humility, sharing experiences and feelings, and being supportive are at the heart of what this group is about, and members need to keep that principle in mind during every meeting. Members ought to strive to build each other up, to be supportive and positive.

Confidentiality and privacy are very important. Group members need to feel they can trust that what is said in the meeting will not be told to people outside the group. Whatever is said in the meeting must stay within the group. Specialists from outside who come to work with the group must also maintain this confidentiality.

Group members need to refrain from evaluating or judging what others say. Members are to respect each others' views and opinions, even when in disagreement.

Various members may be at different stages of dealing with the effects sexual abuse has had on their partners and their relationships. Members need to be patient with each other, and meet each other at whatever stage they are in dealing with the effects of sexual abuse on them, their partners and their relationships.

Members may contact each other outside the regular meeting time and the online forum, but whatever is learned and accomplished outside the group may also be beneficial to bring back to the group.

If a person is found to be in violation of these rules, the Meeting Leader can point this out and inform the member privately of these rules and why they are important. If the member continues to break the rules then they can be barred from future meetings and the online forum by a 2/3 vote of the group.

Meeting Guidelines

Start on time, and finish on time. Regular meetings are 1 ½ hours long.

A typical agenda includes group administration, introduction of new members, deciding what to do for workshops, open discussion, and member testimonies.

If a member is not able to come to a regular meeting, they are encouraged to let the Meeting Leader know in advance.